How To Survive A Divorce
I didn't get married thinking I would get divorced. I never wanted to be one of the 50% of marriages that fail. I never wanted to have to check the.
Source: Dark Moon Pictures/ShutterstockJust went through a? Well, the period after divorce can be challenging as well. Guest blogger Joan Winberg has some great pointers to help you thrive after your divorce.-After divorce is a very challenging and overwhelming time in a person’s life.It’s an emotional roller coaster ride that no one wants to ride alone. It is also hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living “out of the habit” of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years. To move your life, start by focusing on yourself. Use this precious opportunity to rediscover. Think of this time in your life as an adventure to explore the real you.Take a deep breath and say Will the real me please stand up!1) Treasure Your MagnificenceRealizing you are born with “gold nuggets” is hard for many people.
Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don’t like about yourself. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of your great qualities and read that list every day.
Keep reading it until you believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, loving, caring, intelligent keep going.
Allow yourself to see the shining gold within. It’s already there! 2) Ten minutes a day can make a differenceDuring and after a divorce it is common to have the feeling of grieving, similar to that after the loss of someone.
Many people feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this time. To be the best you can be for yourself and your children, it’s important to remember that you deserve to do something special for yourself every day, even if only for 10 minutes. It can be as simple as taking a walk or reading a book with your favorite cup of tea. Give yourself permission. The happier you are, the! 3) Learn to let goHolding onto regrets and will only keep your life from moving forward. Is your working overtime with all the “what ifs” and “if onlys”?
This is normal for a period of time, but ask yourself are these thoughts serving me or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for the next exciting chapter of. Yes, there is life after divorce.
Learn to live in the present moment. Living in the present is where all the “good stuff” in life happens. Think of it this way: When one is missing this moment in time, one is missing out on one’s life.So how do we live in the present?If you are feeling, immediately leave the thoughts currently in your head and take off your blinders. Start to look around you. Look closely at everything. Really focus. Use all your senses! For example, if you are with your children, observe them.
Cherish their smiles. Give them a hug.
See the true beauty of who they are and appreciate them for being a part of your life. One way to help yourself shift is to be for what is working in your life right now.7) Be True to YourselfDuring and even after a divorce, we are often filled with. We question ourselves about what is right, what to do or how we feel. Should I or shouldn’t I?It seems difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right?
What doesn’t feel quite right? If a situation does not feel right, respect that feeling by pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed the situation to unfold more easily without having to worry!
Has this ever happened to you? You are asked to be on a committee or to volunteer for something and you say “yes”, even though you know it will make your schedule even tighter or you really don’t want to?How do you stop this from happening? Next time you are in this situation and you are ready to say yes STOP! Take a breath or even take a step back.
Thank the person for thinking of you, but let them know you will have to check your calendar and get back to them. When you do have time to think about it, focus on how you are feeling. Are you excited to participate or do you feel some resistance? If in a day or two you are still feeling doubtful, realize the timing may not be right. If you are feeling excited, say “yes” and have fun!
I'm so excited. I cant believe it!
LORD JUMA your love spell casting really worked! My ex-husband is back after he left me and the kids, he sent me an SMS last night, wanting us to get back together again.and here we are! Yes, I’m extremely happy that we are living together again.My name is TRIANA ANDERSON from CANADA, My husband and I have been married for about 6yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else.
He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested LORD JUMA can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me.
28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again. LORD JUMA is the best online spell caster that is powerful and genuine. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you.
Here’s his contact: Email him at: mercyfullsolutionhome @gmail. Com add him up on whatsApp @ +1 (859)-203-2241. My names are Robert Jason want to testify about this great love spell caster that helped me bring back my ex wife. My ex wife and i where having a misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg her several times to please forgive and accept me back because i know i offended her but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because she always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell and i felt so empty inside me, my loneliness became worst, until this faithful day i was browsing through the internet i saw a testimony on the internet testifying of Dr Raypower good work, i contacted him which he assured me within 48 hours for an instant result. Just same 48 hours as he promised my wife now came back home begging for forgiveness to love and cherish her and the kids forever, am so happy and thankful to Dr Raypower, My wife is madly in love with me again. If there is any body Out there who is in Difficulties and need help should kindly Contact Dr.
Raypower belowEmail: urgentspellcast @ gmail. ComCall or WhatsApp: +1 (424) 330-8109. Divorce and marital breakthrough save your marriage / relationship from breakup and Divorce? You can contact Dr. Raypower through email Urgentspellcast @ gmail. Com or call him directly or WhatsApp on +1 (424) 330-8109Good day everybody, My names are Alicia Leonard i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.
It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. I was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, so i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact this great powerful spell caster called Dr. Raypower, The main reason why she instructed me to contact Dr Raypower was because in recent times she have read some testimonies on the internet which some people has written about the powerful spell caster Dr Raypower and i was so pleased and i decided to seek for assistance from him which he did a perfect job by casting a spell on my husband and utilise the powers of the other woman which made him to come back to me and beg for forgiveness. I will not stop publishing his name on the net because of the good work he is doing. To everyone with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Raypower the powerful urgent spell caster via details belowEmail: Urgentspellcast @ gmail.
ComCall/WhatsApp: +1 (424) 330-8109. LOVE SPELL CASTER (DR. OZIL) THAT HELPED ME BRING BACK MY DIVORCE HUSBAND CONTACT HIM NOW FOR ANY KIND OF HELPWith so much in my heart i am here to express myself on how Dr. Ozil saved my marriage from divorce. Myself and my husband were having some misunderstanding and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extend my husband was seeking for a divorce. So i have no option than to go to the internet to seek for solution to my problem it was there i came across Dr.
Ozil details and about how he has helped a lot of people by restoring there relationship. I contact Dr. Ozil and in less than 48 hours my husband cancelled the divorce papers. Now myself and my husband live together in peace and harmony all thanks to Dr.
Ozil for saving my marriage from breaking up. Ozil contact information are via email: drozilsolutionhome @ yahoo. Com or call his phone number or WhatsApp: +826.
Thanks to Dr Asha a real and genuine online love spell caster for bringing back my Ex lover his Contact: genuinespellcast @ gmail. Com for Urgent Love Spell.how i got my lover back with Dr Asha powerful and real love spell his result is 100% guarantee sure and trusted.My boyfriend left me for another girl. I needed him back desperately because i loved him so much. I became very worried and needed help. As i was browsing through the Internet, I came across a website that suggested that Dr Asha can help get ex lover back fast and stop a divorce or breakup and so on, So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me.
Then 28 hours later, my boyfriend came back to me begging for my forgiveness. Today I'm so happy and i want to recommend this great spell caster to anyone that truly needs an urgent solution to his or her broken relationships and marriage problems. Simply contact this great Dr Asha If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you., Thank you Dr Asha for saving my broken relationships and bringing my boyfriend back to me!' Email him at: genuinespellcast @ gmail.
Com,you can also call/whatsapp him: +592 and get all your problems solved with a 100% guarantee. Many people have wrote articles of how they were helped by a spell caster but I am very grateful to this great spell caster who brought my ex husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is Jennifer Sanchez. When i came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him and i have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life. To get back with an ex is one of the most inner most feeling many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do.
I was a single parent for almost 6 years and though my ex husband was far away from my kids i still wish someday he will return back to me. This spell doctor i encountered known as Doctor Odunga helped me with my wishes and i am happy to say that i am back with my ex husband and i am very happy sharing the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don't know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but i always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single re-connection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex, contact this great spell caster at odungaspelltemple@ gmail. Com and share an awesome testimony too just like me.
Hi everyone am AMBER ERIN, I do hope my post gets read and hopefully helps somebody along the line.i will never forget the help the wonderful spell caster Dr Larry render to me in my marital life. I have been married for 4 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly. After 4 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside, i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention but nothing happen. My husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress house. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. I was so depressed and had to tell a friend who told me how a spiritualist helped her out with her marital problems so i contacted him and i told him my problem and after he made some consultations he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happened, that he will restore my marriage but i never believe him.
To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids. Now am happy we living happily with my husband and kids.thanks to the help of the great Spiritualist Dr Larry, contact him with any problem and am sure he will help email assurancesolutionhome @ gmail. Com whatsapp him on +1(424)-261-8520. HOW DR SUNNY HELPED ME GET MY EX BACKI AM AMANDA TAYLOR my husband dumped me 9(nine) months ago after I accused him of seeing another girl. I wanted him back in my life but he refused to have any contact with me. He changed his mobile number, blocked me from sending him mails and even on facebook.
I was so confused and lost concentration that made me lose my job, it was disastrous. I kept seeing on several blogs how a spell caster keeps helping people get their ex back and I contacted this spell caster called Drsunny for help, he assured me in 48hours that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise my ex called me for the first time since we broke up. I am so happy that my love is back again, we are now happier than ever and I have gotten a job far better than my previous one, once again thank you Dr sunny, you are truly gifted and powerful. Email this wonderful man on drsunnyosarie578@gmail.com He is the only answer to your problems.
He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his name for the good work he did for me. Again his email address is drsunnyosarie578@gmail.com or call +908. HOW DR SUNNY HELPED ME GET MY EX BACKI AM AMANDA TAYLOR my husband dumped me 9(nine) months ago after I accused him of seeing another girl.
I wanted him back in my life but he refused to have any contact with me. He changed his mobile number, blocked me from sending him mails and even on Facebook. I was so confused and lost concentration that made me lose my job, it was disastrous. I kept seeing on several blogs how a spell caster keeps helping people get their ex back and I contacted this spell caster called Dr sunny for help, he assured me in 48hours that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise my ex called me for the first time since we broke up.
I am so happy that my love is back again, we are now happier than ever and I have gotten a job far better than my previous one, once again thank you Dr sunny, you are truly gifted and powerful. Email this wonderful man on drsunnyosarie578@gmail.com He is the only answer to your problems. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his name for the good work he did for me. Again his email address is drsunnyosarie578@gmail.com or call +908. HOW DR SUNNY HELPED ME GET MY EX BACKI AM AMANDA TAYLOR my husband dumped me 9(nine) months ago after I accused him of seeing another girl.
I wanted him back in my life but he refused to have any contact with me. He changed his mobile number, blocked me from sending him mails and even on Facebook. I was so confused and lost concentration that made me lose my job, it was disastrous. I kept seeing on several blogs how a spell caster keeps helping people get their ex back and I contacted this spell caster called Dr sunny for help, he assured me in 48hours that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise my ex called me for the first time since we broke up. I am so happy that my love is back again, we are now happier than ever and I have gotten a job far better than my previous one, once again thank you Dr sunny, you are truly gifted and powerful. Email this wonderful man on drsunnyosarie578@gmail.com He is the only answer to your problems. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his name for the good work he did for me.
Again his email address is drsunnyosarie578@gmail.com or call +908. I am joes candra, I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank DR.OSAUYI for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family.
I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast.
Three days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 6 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR.OSAUYI released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him.
And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to DR.OSAUYI for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in any situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. OSAUYILOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM that is his email address bye or you can call is hot line on +395.
Hello everyone my name is Hello everyone my name is MIRABEL from United states, i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr Baba Ijebu, who helped me cast a spell that brought back my ex-lover to me within 48 hours. Baba ijebu spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married me and my ex-lover are now husband and wife. What more can i say rather than to say thank you Dr BAB IJEBU for being there for me,contact Dr BABA IJEBU today and your life will never ever remain the same.YOU CAN CONTACT Dr BABA IJEBU VIA EMAIL: babaijebusolutions@gmail.comNAME: MIRABELCOUNTRY: U.S.Afrom United states, i never ever believed in spell until i meet a man called Dr Baba Ijebu, who helped me cast a spell that brought back my ex-lover to me within 48 hours. Dr.ALADDIN spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married me and my ex-lover are now husband and wife. What more can i say rather than to say thank you Dr BABA IJEBU for been there for me,contact Dr BABA IJEBU today and your life will never ever remain the same.YOU CAN CONTACT Dr BABA IJEBU VIA EMAIL: babaijebusolutions@gmail.comNAME: MIRABELCOUNTRY: U.S.A.
My dear reader, you have to read this.Dr Aluda doesn't ask for testimonies and he doesn't charge. He is genuine and people get to meet him by luck. But right now am your luck if you could meet him. Every other testimonies you read here are scams. Dr Aluda lives in Africa and I happened to meet him by chance after a friend told me about him. I followed these internet testimonies and was hugely scammed to the extent that I wanted to kill myself. Dr Aluda turned my situation around by bringing back my ex and made me regain double of what I lost over to these scams.
He made my ex come crawling to have him back. All I spent was $250 and at last gained back all my lost money and even double of it. His email address is: aludaspelltemple@gmail.com but please don’t make him know that I published him on net. He is just wonderful and I wish whoever that finds him good luck.
Don’t forget his email address is aludaspelltemple@gmail.comYours trulyPatrica EdwardUsa. My name is Rosie Smith. To cut the long story short I tried about 3 different spell casters over a period of 3 months and all they wanted was more & more money and kept coming up with excuses that why the spell wasn’t working. Just when I was about to give up I came across several good testimonies of Dr. Aluda over the internet. I contacted him and he promised to restore my faith back into spell casters, that there are real and love spells that do actually work.
I was very skeptical after several scam spell casters. Mine wasn't a simple spell but Dr.
Aluda went above & beyond his way to look for extra money when extra work was required. Always called & txt on time. Replied to emails on time. Only asked for half the spell money as initial payment. My partner had walked out on me one day with no explanation. I was devastated. When I was about to give up hope, Dr.
Aluda Spell guided and encouraged me, and then he was back 3 days after the spell was casted. I recommend Dr. Aluda extremely highly. Dr.Aluda you are a gifted man and I will not stop recommending him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. You can contact him on: aludaspelltemple@gmail.com He is the best caster that can help you with your problems.
He restored my faith and I AM FINALLY HAPPYFrom Usa. Hi I'm Mrs.Suzan Melissa from Texas United states, i want to use this opportunity to thank the Great Dr Iyabeye for helping in getting my husband back to me, i have been in great pains until the day i contacted Dr Iyabeye he castered a love spell for me and told me to wait for just 24 hours that my husband will call me and i did according to the instructions given to me by him and surprisingly, in 24 hours, my husband really called me and started apologizing for all he had caused me.
I am the happiest Woman on earth today because Dr Iyabeye has done a wonderful deeds in my life and i will continue to share this testimony, if you would love to contact Dr Iyabeye and if you know you are encountering same situation, visit him today by contacting him via this email address: (iyabeyesolutiontemple@gmail.com) or call his mobile number +702 or contact him directly on his website: Getting your lover or husband back2. Spiritual bulletproof3. Money spell5. Long life spell6.
Prosperity spell7. Protection spell8.
Get a job spell9. Becoming a manager spell10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell11. Getting your scam money back12.
Child spell13. Pregnancy spell14. Freedom spell15.
Love spell16, vanishing spell17. Invisible human spell18. Success or pa.
spell19. Marriage spell20. Avenging spell21. Popularity spell22. Killing spell23.
Cancer spell24. Supernatural power spell25. Madness spell26. Free house loan spell27. Production spell of films and movie28. Hiv/aids spell29. Tuberculosis spell30.
Spell for riches and fame31. Spell to get a good job32. Loose weight and body spellTeam Regards!Suzan Melissa. Good New Today That My Wife Is Back All Thank To Dr.Ukaka!!!My Name is Davidson Perry. Can a Divorced women Attract being single again, I mean can Divorce attract the status from Divorced to single.If so How?? That would really be a huge change in mankind as it is said that everything is possible using law of attraction. Like some people gets married forcibly and someone proves that opposite person is not aPerfect one( I mean who harrasses) Girls always cannot fight with parents know!
I know maximum answer would be no but I jus want to findout the way.Some people just leaves all their fun, Happiness and Achievements just for the sake of parents. When they say they didnt like the person or that behaviour of the man is not good, but elders or parents feel girls are fearing and Dont listen to them. Life is not a Movie that one person will like us even after Divorced especially when we still have strict rules. Reply as fast as you can as I am unable to think about the imagination how it should be. Because It is logical mind who tries to proov the real happenings.
That is a Fighting Right! It could be huge Impact on your side to many of the Individuals if you help in this way please. Hope you undestand my Feelings that one of my siblings were unable to get out of the situation. Hello everyone my name is Nick and am out here to do just one thing which is to tell the world about a man called Dr Zadson. A man of great virtue and abilities.
Its been 1 year and 3 months since my husband left home to live with another woman at first i didn't feel bothered but on a second thought i couldn't just stay back and sleep lonely all nights while another enjoyed the company of my husband. Then i resulted online for solution then i saw so many comments of how this Dr Zadson help restores marriages/relationships just in a space of 48 hours. I took a leap of faith to email him and he replied back and gave me his word that in 48 hours he will be back to me. Verily verily i was so amazed and shocked to truly see my husband at my work place asking me to take him back and its been 4 months now and we are still together better and stronger by the day. I said to myself that there are people out there who need this type of liberation and help and i will write down his email contact Dr Zadson via email on eduduzadsontemple@yahoo.com and feel a new dawn of happiness.
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Edwards if you are interested in getting loan and you are sure you can pay him back on time you can contact him via email (wilsonedwardsloancompany@gmail.com) No credit check, no co signer with just 2% interest rate and better repayment plans and schedule if you must contact any firm with reference to securing a loan without collateral then contact Mr. Wilson Edwards today for your loanThey offer all kind of categories of loan theyShort term loan (510years)Long term loan (2040)Media term loan(1020)They offer loan likeHome loan., Business loan. Debt loan.Student loan.,Business start up loanBusiness loan., Company loan. EtcEmail.(wilsonedwardsloancompany@gmail.com )When it comes to financial crisis and loan then Wilson Edwards loan financial is the place to go please just tell him I Mrs. Anita Frank direct you Good Luck. Hello my dear people, I am Anita Frank, currently living in New jersey city, USA.
I am a widow at the moment with three kids and i was stuck in a financial situation in April 2015 and i needed to refinance and pay my bills. I tried seeking loans from various loan firms both private and corporate but never with success, and most banks declined my credit,do not full prey to those hoodlums at there that call them self money lender they are all scam, all they want is your money and you well not hear from them again they have done it to me twice before I met Mr. Wilson Edwards the most interesting part of it is that my loan was transfer to me within 74hours so I will advice you to contact Mr. Edwards if you are interested in getting loan and you are sure you can pay him back on time you can contact him via email (wilsonedwardsloancompany@gmail.com) No credit check, no co signer with just 2% interest rate and better repayment plans and schedule if you must contact any firm with reference to securing a loan without collateral then contact Mr. Wilson Edwards today for your loanThey offer all kind of categories of loan theyShort term loan (510years)Long term loan (2040)Media term loan(1020)They offer loan likeHome loan., Business loan. Debt loan.Student loan.,Business start up loanBusiness loan., Company loan. EtcEmail.(wilsonedwardsloancompany@gmail.com )When it comes to financial crisis and loan then Wilson Edwards loan financial is the place to go please just tell him I Mrs.
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Sleeping well is something that everyone wants to do. Some people can go with only a few hours a night and feel rested and rejuvenated, but most people need at least six to eight hours, with some needing more each night. Insomnia is one of the biggest reasons why people are not getting the sleep that they need. The reasons for insomnia are many, but stress and worry are often the main reason people can not fall asleep and can not stay asleep.
The anxiety and insomnia connection is very strong, and if you are not sleeping, might be something you should look into.Anxiety and insomnia have gone hand in hand for as long as people have had trouble sleeping. If you are very active person and you are exhausted each night when you lay down, there could be no amount of anxiety that could keep you awake, but most of us are simply not that tired. We want to sleep, but the brains refuse to slow down and shut down so that we can rest. Though anxiety may not be your problem, it may be if you are thinking about problems over and over again instead of sleeping. That is usually your first clue that you have a problem.Your anxiety does not have to be anything major to disrupt your sleep. Perhaps the person that always watches your kids is moving, so you are not sure how you are going to find good childcare while you are at work. This is certainly not a life and death problem, but it is a problem.
You can circle the same problem over and over again while laying in bed without solving it, which leads to the anxiety and insomnia problem for you. Try to tell yourself that there is nothing that you can do about it now, but you will get on it in the morning. Sometimes, that is all it takes to fall asleep.Your problems that are triggering anxiety and insomnia are a bit more intense than that. Perhaps you have a child that you suspect may be getting involved in the wrong activities and slipping out at night.
This will cause anyone to lose sleep. If you are just worried about it, but you are sure they are in their bed safe and sound, anxiety is keeping you up. However, if you know they are going to try to sneak out, staying awake is more protecting your family than something you can take care of in the morning. However, you still have to come up with a solution.
Sleep on their floor if you have to, and then take measures the very next day so that you can sleep. You can't help your child if you are exhausted.If making a list and telling yourself that you will handle it the next day is not helping your anxiety and insomnia problem, it might be time to talk to your doctor.
Some anxiety is out of control. You may have spiraling thoughts that spew gloom and doom while you are trying to sleep. This is more common than you think.
You may benefit from the short term use of a sleeping pill or perhaps you need a medication to help you control your anxiety. Either way, you need that sleep each night, so don't hesitate to ask for help.
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At its most benign, a divorce is a disappointing end to a relationship. At its worst, divorce can be a devastating life transition for all involved.Separating parents often worry, appropriately so, about how their children might be negatively affected.
But let me emphasize one thing first: Extensive has shown that most children have no significant difficulties after a divorce. And for those kids who do experience emotional or behavioral issues, the problems tend to resolve themselves quickly.Plus, it's important to note that some children might even benefit from their parents’ divorce — especially if the marriage was full of conflict and the divorce provides some relief. But as a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, I also know that many moms and dads going through a divorce are looking for ways to help make sure their kids get through the transition happy and healthy. Here's what I recommend:1. Practice self-care throughout the divorce.For adults, divorce can be one of the most stressful life events.
Some finds it's second only to the death of a spouse. But stressed-out parents who aren’t attending to their own needs are less equipped to respond to difficulties their children might be going through. Think of the airplane safety demonstration in which flight attendants instruct adult passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before assisting children. The same goes for parenting.Everyone’s version of is a little different, but there are a few core strategies that work for most people. One, spend time with people who care about you.
Two, make sure you’re taking care of your body’s needs with adequate, nutrition, and exercise. Finally, engage regularly in activities that make you happy.2. Start an ongoing conversation and emphasize three main points.During the first conversation you have with your kids, you should communicate in an age-appropriate way key details about the divorce and the logistics of custody (if they’re known yet).More importantly, you want to make sure your children know that a) the divorce is not their fault, b) the responsibility for the divorce is on both parents, and c) both parents still love them and will continue to be a big part of their lives.But remember that this is just the beginning of an ongoing conversation you should be having. Children process information differently and at different speeds. Don’t be surprised if there are no questions during the “big talk” and then many questions and comments that pop up in the ensuing months at seemingly random times.Let kids go at their own speed, and take these opportunities to answer their questions, address their concerns, and let them know that the door is always open for more discussion.3.
Validate kids’ feelings without feeling that you have to fix them.We’ve all had that friend who immediately jumps to problem-solving mode when we tell them about difficulties we’re experiencing. Just like adults, sometimes children just want you to listen.When children come to you saying they’re sad or angry about the divorce, reflect their feelings back to them with understanding statements such as, “I can understand why you’d be sad; you’re not getting to spend as much time with your dad as when we all lived together.” Sometimes, that’s the best you can offer because there isn't always a solution.The 'fixing' reflex often comes from our own discomfort with our kids’ distress, or may even come from feeling guilty about the divorce. But just allowing children to talk about difficult emotions helps them build coping skills and sends the message that those emotions are okay and don’t need to be fixed.4. Keep routines as consistent as possible.A divorce can add to a child’s feeling of instability and uncertainty.
That's why it’s important to try to keep as many of the other aspects of a child’s life constant and in order.It's especially important for kids to maintain connections with their usual friend groups or teams, because social support is a huge buffer against stress.Of course, it's not always possible to keep things the same — the divorce might mean moving to a different house or school district. If that’s the case, try to put new routines into place as quickly as you can to help your kids feel more grounded.5. Don't let your kids hear you fight or critizie the other parent.Exposure to parental conflict is bad for children. If the divorce gives the kids a break from that conflict, they'll likely fare better overall. However, continued exposure to fighting after a divorce can lead to negative outcomes.
So do everything in your power not to speak badly about the other parent, even if you feel they aren’t doing the same.This includes avoiding passive-aggressive comments such as, “I'd know if you can spend the night at your friend’s house if your father would just pick up his phone!” Kids are perceptive and can pick up the hostility, even if you think you’re hiding it well.The most important outcome of a divorce is not the visitation schedule or the amount of child support, it’s how well you can co-parent with your ex. Keep this in mind and do everything you can to make sure your children don’t feel they have to pick a side.